Eating your favourite meal without food guilt is one of the best feelings attached to eating. However, for many people, there is always a feeling of shame and guilt attached to certain foods. Instead of feeling food guilt, we need to dismiss the rules and focus on what makes us feel good instead.
Food guilt is a product of the perception that foods are either good or bad. As a result, it causes you to feel guilty after eating a food you are not “supposed” to eat. The guilts are harmful thoughts that affect your positivity and forces you to see eating as a fight between good and evil in which the good must always prevail. Sadly, the good in this regard means eating based on a set of rigid rules and guidelines that don’t always have the body’s best interest in view. Food guilt eliminates trust between food and your body which makes you restrict yourself from certain foods. This in turn make you then even more guilty if you break the restriction. However, when you accept the fact that food has no moral, you will not classify some food as good and some as bad. Hence, if you can disassociate yourself with this diet mentality, you will not feel guilty after every meal. Mindful and intuitive eating are excellent practices to get rid of this food guilt. Intuitive eating puts your body and intuition in control of what you eat so that you can honour and make peace with food.
The problem with food guilt
You cannot have a hateful relationship with the food you eat. The reason is that food affects your being and internal constituents. Not just this, it affects your metabolism, a key player in your state of mind. Although food can be emotional, you should never allow your emotions to get in the way of a healthy eating pattern. The problem is that we are used to thinking of food in terms of good and bad. Unknown to many, food is neither black and white. Hence, there is no bad or wrong food. Unfortunately, when you start to make a conscious effort to obsess over food actively, you will develop a sense of comparison about what to and what not to eat.
Food guilt and consciousness don’t develop in a day. In contrast, it is a product of many other simple thoughts that eventually culminate into a feeling of guilt over what you eat. When you don’t take time to appreciate how food makes you feel, you won’t appreciate it. Hence, instead of making food your friend, it becomes the energy and a yardstick for measuring whether you are a good or bad person. The line of thinking is usually tied to what you eat and how it affects your sense of self. However, instead of regarding food as an activity that you can control, it becomes a determinant. Ultimately, what you eat does not determine who you are; Hence, you shouldn’t feel guilty over food.
The Science behind food and guilty eating
What we eat ultimately and directly affects how we feel. Food nourishes the body and tastes great. It also makes us feel good. However, when you eat too much or too little, it affects your health and the quality of your life. One of the functional building blocks of metabolism is your relationship with food.
Imagine if you were served dinner at a family gathering. Each plate with food were served to you instead of you helping yourself. The chances of you eating everything on that plate is quite high. Additionally, you would feel rude to ask for more. However, if the food were served as a buffet and you could choose yourself what to eat, your choices might have been different. On top of that, you might even base your choices of food on which type of family you’re around to prevent feeling shameful.
Another example of the mind over food psychology; Imagine a plate of salad, beef, and pasta. Someone obsessed with fat will see calories and more fat. However, for another person trying to gain muscle mass, the food will represent protein and essential nutrients needed to achieve the goal. A vegetarian might see the same food and refrain from touching it because of the meat; However, to a meat lover, the sight of a good piece of meat is a wonder to behold.
Now, this illustration is an indication that food is more mental than physical. Hence, more than what is going inside you, how you perceive what you eat can determine whether you will feel satisfied or not. As expected, no two-person will have the same view about food. Hence, what many terms as bad food is only bad for them. Because they have an issue with it does not mean you should too.
Your brain eats as much as your body
The brain communicates with the digestive system through the nerves and spinal cord. For example, if a plate of chocolate is set before you, the chocolate’s image emerges in the cerebral cortex. Then, it is communicated electrochemically to the lower portion of the brain, the limbic system. The system is responsible for regulating hunger, heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, and other vital psychological functions. The hypothalamus is located within the limbic system and integrates your body with what goes on in the system. Hence, it converts your emotional thoughts into a psychological response.
When you eat with happiness and satisfaction, the hypothalamus translates this sensory feeling through the parasympathetic nerve fibers to the stomach, liver, intestines, salivary glands, and esophagus. It then stimulates digestion for a fuller metabolic food breakdown. As expected, when you eat with a feeling of guilt, it sends the negative input to your nervous system. Hence, although you are eating, you won’t experience full metabolism. It may also stay in your system longer and increase your risk of toxins in your bloodstream.
The thoughts you have about food is translated in real-time through the central nervous system to the body. When you spend too much time reflecting on a bad experience, the body responds by shifting to a physiologic state of stress that can decrease your digestive functions, among other harmful effects. Food guilt is viewed as a brain stressor.
Factors that influence eating behaviour
For many people, food is an agent that helps them deal with stress, anxiety, joy, and boredom. However, this conception did not start today.
Social and cultural influence
Cultural influences sometimes lead to differences in the consumption of certain foods. For some, it is the traditions linked to the preparation that causes a restriction of such foods. It can also be the constraints of belonging to a social group since there are foods that some sectors of society are known not to eat. The social context of food, either consciously or unconsciously, affects how we perceive food. We sometimes learn from peers, beliefs, and other subconscious forms of learning. Although we can’t quantify social influences on food, we know that society influences our eating behaviour.
Physical and economic influence
Cost is a primary determinant when it comes to food and satisfaction. When the cost is tied to your income, it is only normal to feel guilty when you eat some food types. However, access to more money does not translate to a better quality diet for some. Since it is more of psychological and mental response, it takes more than a physical change to affect the person. Hence, whether you are eating a cheap or expensive meal, the satisfaction derived is essential.
The dangerous side of guilty eating
Eating disorders
Eating in excess:
Fear and guilt over what you eat causes or reinforced symptoms of an eating disorder. Attempting to drown your emotion with food, for example, is followed by guilt. Negative eating patterns and behaviour can be two ways; It can cause you to overeat food within a short period because you feel inadequate. On the other hand, it might cause you to eat less because you feel you should cut down on your consumption.
Eating in excess because of restriction and guilt within a short period can cause binge eating. For a binge eater, you consume too much food even when you are not hungry. Behavioural issues like binge eating can cause depression and disgust with yourself. Since you are always eating out of guilt, you will do so until you feel uncomfortable even when you don’t need it. It also causes internal pain since it overloads your system with too much food, and it strives to create the energy needed to digest the food. For example, it can cause cramping, heartburn, acid reflux, and many more.
Eating too little:
On the other hand, eating too little out of guilt can lead one to the highway called starvation. Unfortunately, dieting messes with our brain and forces an unhealthy relationship with food. Dieting forces you to starve yourself and control what you eat. In an ideal scenario, your body should determine what it wants and how to regulate itself. However, dieting erodes trust between your mind and body.
Apart from this, dieting trains your system to resist food that you should accept in the first place. Food is essential to systemic function. Hence, when you deliberately starve yourself with a diet because you are guilty of food, your body won’t feel in charge anymore. Besides, it rids your system of essential nutrients, and the body begins to shut down. These demonstrate that feeling guilty after eating too much or too little can cause severe eating disorders that negatively affect the body.
That said, you do not have to be diagnosed with an eating disorder in order to be struggling with food. The diet mentality is never good, either you struggle with overeating or just eating too little. Regardless of your struggle, the food guilt will always end up like this:
Dieting affects your hunger and satisfaction cues
Dieting is a notion that you shouldn’t eat more than you should. As a result, you will loose touch with your satisfaction cues when you are accustomed to this lifestyle. By implication, you won’t know when you are hungry or satisfied since the routine has messed with the hormones responsible for that effect. Food guilt ultimately damages the relationship between food and your body. It can either lead to over-dependence on food or lack of trust in what you eat.
How to stop food guilt and obsessing over food
Stay flexible with food
Understand that food is neither good nor bad. If you have a problem with your eating pattern, it is mostly because of your mindset and not the food. Try to stay flexible with food, knowing that there are no rules to eating beside the one you make. This approach is not just sustainable; It is a kind way to treat your mind and body.
Restrictive diet plans are linked to feelings of guilt. Hence, making food rules as you go by is not good for anyone. If you have a problem with eating in moderation, the problem is not the food. People who overeat often make the mistake of focusing on a particular food. Instead, it would help if you focused on your relationship with food. You won’t struggle to eat moderately when you strive to keep a healthy food relationship. However, if you want to control your food cycle, you will continue feeling guilty when eating. Therefore, the secret is not to try to control what you eat.
Start by getting rid of any rules you have for yourself. These rules can be; “Not eating candy on other days than on weekends”. Or; “I have to wait to eat until there’s at least 3 hours apart each meal”. The rules will prevent you from staying flexible, and will only make the food guilt worse once you break the rules. Therefore, it’s super important to let them go. If you stay flexible and give yourself unconditionally permission to eat, you’ll be able to get rid of the food guilt. Once you give yourself permission, your body get accustomed to eating the forbidden foods as well as healthy foods. With time, the body will naturally move further towards the healthier food choices.
Food is a pleasure that should be enjoyed
A delicious cake is just that – Delicious. Nothing more, nothing less. You shouldn’t blame a cake for being delicious, should you? Likewise, you shouldn’t blame yourself after eating it. People that fail to see food as a pleasure feel guilty after they eat. Although some give physical expressions, you often find them in the gym trying to lose whatever it is they thought they’ve gained from what they ate.
When you understand that food is a pleasure, your emphasis will be on the user experience and not what someone thinks. If you tag a food as forbidden, you will find yourself craving for that food. When you eat it, you attribute it to your badness and lack of self-control. Instead of this, have a different perspective on food besides being good or bad.
Regardless of the food, it can be a part of a healthy diet. For example, chocolate can be a part of a healthy diet. Once you permit yourself to eat it, you get accustomed to it, and won’t crave it as often. Strive towards eating a healthy balance of all food without shame, reproach, or guilt. Healthy is just another word for self-care. Chocolate is for sure another word of self-care to our soul sometimes, but only without the side of judgement.
Try intuitive eating
Intuitive eating is an eating style that promotes a healthy attitude towards your body and food. The principle is that there is no connection between healthy eating and meal plans, willpower, and diets. Hence, it teaches you to get the best out of every meal without feeling guilty or sorry for your choices. Intuitive eating reiterates a non-diet approach to making food choices. Instead, it encourages you to trust your body and inner wisdom to make choices about food without judging yourself.
Food guilt is often associated with a diet mentality that tells you that you are eating too much or too little. Hence, it forces you to see yourself as a failure every time you break some set of rules that you are supposed to live by. Interestingly, the rules are ultimately responsible for your guilt. For example, if there is no yardstick to measure how much you should or shouldn’t eat, you won’t feel the need to adopt a routine in pursuit of happiness.
Much like the points we’ve already mentioned in this article, intuitive eating teaches the same. By following your gut, desires and wants of food, and letting go of food rules, you’re on the path of intuitive eating. Once you permit yourself to eat, based on what your body wants, your hunger and satisfaction, you’ll be able to let go of food guilt. Additionally, once you get to know your biological responses again, and regain trust in your body, you will make healthier choices for yourself. And that means allowing yourself chocolate too.
Honour your hunger
Intuitive eating forces you to make peace with food and honour your hunger – The complete opposite of guilty eating. When you honour your hunger and feed your body what food it requires for daily functionalities, you won’t trigger the drive to over- or under-eating. By honouring the biological signals, you will ultimately build trust between you, your body, and what you eat. Hence, intuitive eating lets you call a truce from food fighting. It also lets you give yourself unconditional permission to eat. Instead of telling yourself why you shouldn’t and can’t eat a particular food, you go ahead and eat it.
One thing with guilty eating is that it stems from a notion of what you should and shouldn’t eat. Therefore, if you can rid yourself of the belief, you won’t have a problem with every meal’s aftermath. Intuitive eating teaches you to honour and be at peace with food, by effectively tackle the problem from the root. If you don’t have a preconceived notion about food before eating, you won’t be overwhelmed with extreme guilt after every meal.
Click here for the ultimate intuitive eating guide.
Feel your fullness
Loud thoughts in your head, especially after eating a meal you taught yourself not to eat, are called food police. The food police monitor all unreasonable rules that you have made for yourself. However, it is housed in your mental system. To chase it away, you must discover the satisfaction factor of every meal. When you try to conform to a meal plan guided by rules, you forget how pleasurable and satisfying food can be. This is the reason why many people don’t understand moderate eating; They do not listen to the body cues.
Food satisfaction will tell you when you’ve had enough and are satisfied. This will help avoid feeling guilty after overeating. The force keeps you content and satisfied; Hence, you will always eat the right amount of food that will leave you satisfied. You need to trust that you will feed your body what it wants. Only then will you be able to honour your fullness. To actively listen to the satisfaction and fullness, you must eat without distractions. Eat your meal without scrolling through social media or watching TV. Take your time and look for the feelings of fullness and satisfaction inside your body.
Respect your body
If you feel guilty after eating a meal, you are not kind to your body. Although harsh, this is the truth. Your body is made of interconnected layers of systems and functions that ensure a healthy life. Hence, your body, on its own, knows how best to live. When you restrict your food, you risk triggering mental and physical loss of control because the body seek to save you. Instead, find ways to nurture your body and comfort it with kindness. Eating to get rid of stress or for distraction won’t help you. Instead of doing this, accept your genetic blueprint and understand that what your body needs might not be the same as another’s. Your body deserves to be treated with dignity, and you should honour it. Therefore, treat yourself with self-care routines, and always make sure you give yourself what you really want. Only then, your relationship with food can heal and the body will automatically ask for healthy nourishment.
Try mindful eating
Mindful eating, a daughter category of intuitive eating, lets you control your eating habit. Note, it doesn’t let you control what you eat and how you feel about it. Instead, it controls your habit to achieve satisfaction. Intuitive eating is based on intuition, while mindful eating is based on mindfulness. It means focusing on the present and accepting your feelings, bodily sensations, and thoughts.
In today’s fast-paced world, it is considerably easy to become distracted. As a result, we often eat food faster than we should. To take care of this, mindful eating increases your awareness of food to create a space for freedom and response. Put simply; Mindful eating allows your brain catch up with your body. When you eat without care, you tend to ignore your body’s signals to either slow down or eat less. As a result, you end up resenting yourself for something you could have done differently.
There is usually a time lag between the body and the brain when you eat. Hence, eating mindfully lets your body and brain catch up so that you can respond to your body needs. It also lets you connect deeply with food, understand your eating motivations, and cultivate an eating habit to understand your hunger signals.
Like intuitive eating, mindful eating is not about eating based on a set of predetermined rules. Instead, it’s about putting yourself and your body in control of your diet. When you eat mindfully, you will avoid many mistakes that you can only observe from hindsight after the meal is over. If you don’t want to feel guilty when you are done with the meal, take things slow, and put your body in charge.
Some of the things you can do include:
- Fill your shopping lists with essential items
- Eat when you are hungry and not when you are ravenously hungry. By implication, you won’t skip a meal in the first place.
- Appreciate your food and spend time with my eating it one portion at a time.
- Take small bites and eat with your sense. How does the food really taste like? And how does my body response to it?
- Chew thoroughly and eat slowly to relish every bite.
Make eating foods you like a part of your daily routine
If you crave and like a burger, eat a burger. However, since you understand mindful and intuitive eating, you will employ the satisfaction factor and eat it based on the cues of your body. For example, instead of eating it everyday on “default”, you can try and sit down and listen to your body cues of what it wants. Look at your food experience in a positive light and fit the food into your daily routine.
—
Food is a fuel that affects your hormone levels, activities, energy, and systemic activities. If you understand food as a fuel for your body, you won’t feel bad when you eat. When you are tempted to feel guilty after eating, remind yourself that you have not done anything wrong by eating. You are deserving of love, happiness and health regardless of how and what you eat.
Instead of obsessing over what is and isn’t on your plate, eat what nourishes you and leaves you happy and satisfied. When you feel you’ve gone off course, reset your practices to listen to your body, and feel the confidence that comes with it.